Don't play Pooh Sticks

With six hours to go ...

I don't want to go ...
I can't wait to go ...

Are my bags too heavy?

Don't be a donkey

Have I enough money?
Have I enough clothes?
How can I not have enough clothes?
How much do I hate my hair?

Will I be good enough?
Will I be really crap?
Will they understand me?

This is much harder than India ...
Is it because I'm older?

I drank too much wine
Am I actually going?

When I think
Of how much
I'll miss people
It makes me feel
So empty

I wish I could go to France this summer
But to be honest
I can't think too much about it
Because if I did
I wouldn't go

I'm glad I met John Doody for lunch
Because for ten minutes
I was excited about Japan

Did you know?
Oh dear god!
Oh my god?
Did you know I'm going to Japan?

How can I feel so excited and so sad at the same time?